Whoever said the most important thing in life is to finish strong never had a frank conversation with a woman about the importance of foreplay! When it comes to sexual prelude, men and women don’t always seem to see eye to eye. While men like real action more than the time spent in anticipation of the act, it is just the opposite for us ladies.
In fact, did you know it takes a couple of hours to fully open up a women’s body to pleasure? We know what you’re thinking: who in the world has time for that? However, it’s important to value the intricacies of women’s pleasure and understand that our bodies — particularly our vaginas — require long and delicious amounts of foreplay.
So, what’s the importance of foreplay, you ask? Keep reading to find out!
What Exactly is Foreplay?
Foreplay is all the sweet, sexy, romantic, loving things you tell your partner on a regular basis.
It’s all the dirty, raunchy, kinky thoughts you have that you share with your partner. Foreplay is the texts that he sends you throughout the day to remind you how hot he thinks you are. The texts that say what he wants to do to you when he gets home. It’s the dirty messages she sends you randomly while you are in a work meeting.
From kissing, hugging, caressing, fondling, petting, to teasing, undressing, and oral sex – this is all foreplay.
Although foreplay is great for both partners, it is particularly important for women to have successful foreplay. Remember, it usually takes a woman much longer than a man to get up to the level of arousal needed to orgasm. Foreplay serves both a physical and emotional purpose, helping prepare the mind and body for sex.
Foreplay also helps the clitoris get aroused. Did you know the clitoris actually has the same characteristics as the penis? Blood flows into the clitoris helping you become more aroused and making orgasm easier to achieve. It also helps your vagina become more lubricated which is essential to great sex and an awesome orgasm.
What happens if the vagina is not lubricated?
For women, vaginal lubrication is a crucial part of sexual arousal. It readies the vagina for penetration, making it much easier for the penis to enter and reduces any accompanying friction or irritation. Pain during sex is typically caused by inadequate lubrication.
Lubrication usually occurs naturally (especially following some arousing foreplay) but sometimes — especially after menopause — a woman experiences vaginal dryness. This happens due to changes in hormone production and can cause the vaginal walls to thin. Thinner walls mean fewer cells that secrete moisture, which leads to vaginal dryness.
Vaginal dryness can cause quite a bit of discomfort in the vaginal and pelvic regions. It can also cause:
- – Burning
- – Light bleeding following intercourse
- – Soreness
- – Vaginal itching or stinging
- – Loss of interest in sex
In addition, vaginal dryness is notorious for causing urinary tract infections (UTI).
If you’ve ever had a UTI, then you know firsthand how painful they can be. This type of infection can be painful and truly quite annoying. Some of the symptoms include a strong, persistent urge to urinate, a burning sensation when urinating, passing frequent, small amounts of urine or no urine at all, and urine that appears cloudy.
Treating a UTI can be quite a pain (sometimes literally). You can avoid getting UTIs by making sure you’re good and ready before having sex. Lots of foreplay can help with that. You can also avoid UTIs by maintaining urinary tract health. You can use a supplement like VeeTract to help you maintain the health of your bladder and avoid UTIs.
As women, we are much more than just our biology. After all, a girl’s got feelings! Women especially need emotional assurance that the man she’s about to have sex with really wants to be with her. The time and attention that is given during foreplay can communicate that message in a way that the “wham, bam, thank you, ma’am” approach simply cannot.
Consider trying different foreplay techniques that you and your partner have yet to explore. Below, find some creative techniques for expanding your sexual repertoire:
Texting is easy-peasy and can be done on the fly. A quick text telling them what you’re going to do to them or how hot it makes you when they [fill in the blanks] is sure to get things stirring south of the border. It also lets them know they are on your mind and you’re thinking about them, and who doesn’t love that?
Meet up for dinner or drinks
Footsies under the table, a quick make-out sesh in the bathroom, or a cheeky peek at what you’re wearing – or not wearing – under your clothes. These are just a few ways to turn pre-fun dinner or drinks into foreplay.
Kiss like you mean it
Don’t send them off or greet them with a peck. Instead, lock eyes, press your body against them, and kiss them long and deep. Use your hands and your tongue, and make sure you moan just enough to get them excited for what’s about to come.
Turn roleplay into an opportunity to live out your wildest fantasies by engaging in some roleplay. Pretend to be strangers headed for a crazy one night stand when you meet for drinks. Or how about playing doctor and naughty nurse? You decide!
Light some candles
There’s nothing like candles to set the scene for all things sexy. Tea lights are inexpensive, so stock up and light them all around any and every room you might get jiggy in. Did we mention how flattering candlelight is on the skin?
Even More Foreplay Ideas
Still need a few more ideas? No problem. We’ve got you covered. Try these ideas out:
Two bodies pressed against each other and feeling each other’s hot breath on your cheek as you sway to the rhythm of sweet, sexy tunes. ‘Nuff said.
Put some music on
We all have a song or two that touches us deep in our special place. Find out what theirs is, throw in yours for good measure, and make a playlist of others. Need some help? Barry White’s “Let’s Get it On” and Donna Summer’s “Love to Love You” are a couple of classics.
Put out an erotic spread
Set up a picnic on the bed with a spread of some sexy goodies that are made for sharing. Juicy cherries and chocolate-dipped strawberries with whipped cream and chocolate sauce for dipping are perfect for feeding — and licking off — each other. And chocolate’s a natural aphrodisiac. Bon appetit!
The power of touch is real, and a sensual massage works wonders on the body and mind. Light some candles and get out the oil, or use a massage candle that does double duty and can be very ‘Fifty Shades-esque’. Begin at their feet and work your way up, being sure to hit their sensual pressure points and linger wherever they want you to.
Not that all this kissing and dry humping isn’t going to tickle the senses, but you can take it to the next level with a couple of props.
Blindfold your partner and tease them with different textures and temperatures with things like ice cubes, feathers, and your tongue. Use things you already have that might feel good against the skin, or head to your closest sex shop and invest in a seduction kit.
A Final Word On Foreplay
So, why is foreplay important?
Well, for starters, in order for us ladies to experience an orgasm (and have better sex overall), we must be properly lubricated in our lady regions. One surefire way to do this is through foreplay.
If we are not properly lubricated downstairs, it can cause sex to be really quite painful and, in some cases, even lead to urinary tract infections and yeast infections. You deserve to enjoy sex without pain or the worry of issues afterwards. Treat yourself well and make sure you’re getting that foreplay in. It’s enjoyable and totally worth it!
Sarah Nelson is a nurse with 15 years of experience working with a variety of patients. She has a Masters of Science in Nursing and has spent a large portion of her career working exclusively with women in an OB/GYN setting.
Nursing is a passion for Sarah but she also enjoys writing and sharing her expertise online with people who need helpful information. Treating patients well and helping them learn more about their own bodies is a key essential to a healthy lifestyle that Sarah truly believes in.