If you’ve been enjoying your sex life lately that’s great! Everyone should have a healthy attitude towards sex. However, it’s still normal to wonder if you’re having too much sex, or if you aren’t having sex often enough. Being curious about what’s “normal” is something everyone does from time to time.
Now, don’t get us wrong — sex is a perfectly normal, healthy, and very fun part of adult life. In fact, sexual compatibility and sexual attraction are the basis of many successful relationships. Thinking with our nether regions is natural. However, the truth is that continually acting on those thoughts while the dishes pile up in the sink for weeks may be a sign of a sexy-time dilemma.
So, how much sex is too much? We’re going to talk about what’s healthy and what might be a little over the top.
What Does A Healthy Sex Life Look Like?
First, let’s break down the deets between the sheets:
18- to 29-year-olds have sex on an average of 112 times per year, while 30 to 39-year-olds do the deed on average roughly 69 times per year according to the Kinsey Institute. So if that’s average, what’s considered healthy?
According to experts, most couples in a healthy relationship are having sex at least one to two times per week.
During the honeymoon stage (usually the first few months) many couples often get down to the fun stuff every single time they are together.
When couples first move in with each other, the frequency of sex increases (but only temporarily). If you’re just starting a new phase of your relationship (or a new relationship altogether) then it’s completely normal to have sex more often than you normally would.
As long as you and your partner are both happy with the amount of sex you’re having then there’s usually not too much cause for concern. If you’re still worried you might be having sex too often, it might be time to look at the things that are causing that worry. Sometimes uncertainty can be the reason we’re so anxious about our sex life.
What Can Happen With Too Much Sex?
Even though you can have as much sex as you’re mentally and emotionally comfortable with, there are plenty of surefire signs that your physical body has had enough.
The first obvious sign is vaginal dryness. If things are feeling dry down under, it might be because your body has experienced too much prolonged contact or penetration. When this happens, tiny micro-tears in the vagina can occur, which can be seriously painful.
The more sex you have in a short amount of time, the less natural moisture your body is able to produce. This typically causes friction and pain, which is your body’s signal to press pause and take a breather.
Too much sex could also cause irritation, chafing, or rashes on the external skin around the vulva, and your labia could become swollen or engorged. Remember that even if you’re enjoying the sex you’re having, your vaginal health is important so listen to the signs your body is giving you.
How Can I Prevent Possible Problems?
Another common and unpleasant possible side effect of too much sex is an increase in the risk of vaginal and bladder infections. Bodily fluids can easily knock your vagina’s natural pH levels out of whack, making you more susceptible to infection.
You should always use the restroom before and after sex to help keep your vagina healthy, but too much intercourse could still cause an infection, and you might not notice until days later.
Semen has a pH of seven, which can support unhealthy bacteria within the vagina. That, combined with too much friction from sex, could increase the chance of bacteria from the vagina and anus finding their way into the bladder, causing a painful urinary tract infection (UTI).
Common signs of a UTI include an increased urge to urinate, a burning sensation while urinating, and urine that is pink, cloudy, or has blood in it. You should also watch out for unusual discharge, abdominal pain, and new vaginal odors.
Often times you can prevent possible problems by taking care of yourself before and after sex. You can use a pH balanced wash while showering to make sure everything is clean down there. It can really help make sure you feel clean and confident before you get back to getting down and dirty again.
It’s not just the ladies, though, that experience pain from too much sex. Men can experience pain, irritation, and soreness from too much sexual intercourse, as well. Men may also have a harder time getting and staying erect after several sessions of fun time in bed.
If you or your partner notice that you’re feeling a little tired, something hurts, or you just feel less enthusiastic than usual, it’s ok to take a break. Sometimes just being together and cuddling can be just as fun as other bedroom endeavors.
Is It Too Much, Or Just Right For You?
Having nookie instead of eating, or heading to the office can become problematic. If you’re missing important things in your life it’s time to start wondering if there’s a bigger problem.
But while some sources suggest that sexual addiction is a real thing, others suggest that wanting sex all or most of the time isn’t a real disorder. Regardless, if your sexual habits are getting in the way of your day-to-day life, it’s probably best to consult with a doctor or therapist.
At the end of the day, it boils down to quality over quantity. Having a ton of sex doesn’t really mean it’s too much, so long as both partners enjoy it. But if partners are regularly having intercourse and one person feels much more satisfied than the other, sex can start to feel like a daunting chore for the less-satisfied party.
In short, if both partners are happy, and it’s not interfering with your daily life, go for it. There really isn’t a problem with having a lot of sex.
What If I Want More Sex Than My Partner?
The tricky thing is that there’s no “correct” way to go about intercourse. The preferred amount can vary from person to person. For a fulfilling sex life, it’s helpful to be honest and open with your partner about how frequently you’d like to get jiggy with it.
Just always keep in mind that compromise is key. Instead of singling one person out, talk openly about what you both feel is reasonable. Make sure neither of you feels obligated to have sex when they don’t want to. The goal should be to reach a place where both partners are happy.
If you ever feel emotionally or physically overwhelmed by the amount of sex you’re having, let your partner know. Bedroom activities can be harmful if someone feels forced or pressured into it. This is the biggest reason to make sure you keep communicating with your partner.
The amount of sex a couple has is really highly dependent on their own preferences. If everyone is happy then there isn’t much cause for concern. You aren’t having too much sex.
If you notice that you’re starting to get sore or having some dryness, just take a breather. Try out some other fun bedroom activities. Sex is supposed to be fun so stop worrying and get back to enjoying it as soon as possible.
Sarah Nelson is a nurse with 15 years of experience working with a variety of patients. She has a Masters of Science in Nursing and has spent a large portion of her career working exclusively with women in an OB/GYN setting.
Nursing is a passion for Sarah but she also enjoys writing and sharing her expertise online with people who need helpful information. Treating patients well and helping them learn more about their own bodies is a key essential to a healthy lifestyle that Sarah truly believes in.